FightDepresion, Go Kill Yourself

    How to Deal with Suicidal Thought

I curse the blue skies
Sometimes I wanna lay it all down
I WANT TO SAY GOOD BYE
When I stop wandering at the end of this road
I hope I can close my eyes without regrets

Sometimes we experince hard things on life and feel like we are loser. Right?  If you ever have a suicidal thought when you face a problem in your life.  i think its normal. If now you have that suicidal thoughts at least spend 5 minutes more  to read this. After reading this and you still wanna do suicide, i cant prevent you to do so,, go end it if you want

Dont think that everyone who has everything, and seems to be happy cant have such thinking. I have experienced it before. Maybe you need to read the srory

I faced hard time and yes it hurts me the most but everytime im gonna try to kill myself, do you know what i was doing?

I look for some reason on internet, the reason why people do suicide and i search something true and its right to do suicide. I looked for the quotes that supporting suicide and i got it, a line that said people who did suicide actually dont want to kill themselves but they just cant hold the pain and the pain maybe unbearable.

 You know what, it not only you who have a hard life. Many people around world are exactly feeling same. Feel that you only the one who feel it. If you think you are alone, you are wrong. I'm here and when i was tired with my life i just wanna end up. Growing as adult we have to face many things and sometime destiny put his hand over. Lost people whom you love or something hurt you must wont kill you but the reason, the main thing why you wanna suicide is the feeling that nobody understand n nobody care for you or you keep to cover the feeling to other. Believe me that its not the knife or poison who will kill you, but your loneliness will do.

Good, you have been passed some minutes to read this and delay your suicidal action. If you can keep it longer it will be better.  Do you ever think what kind of action that is best to do suicide? I have one best option. Go to the middle of sea then drown yourself or just kill urself in a very quite jungle or wherever . Make sure nobody will find you. Yes your pain maybe will end after suicide but why i suggest that nobody shouldnt find you? Because if someone find you and other come to know, they will be sad.

If there is no one that will not feel sad or sorry after your death then you can continue to kill yourself with any way you want. But remember, IF NOBODY.

This is what comes to my mind when im going to end up. My heart feel hurts and keep crying whole night by listening LOSER song from BIGBANG. Yes, i wish i just can jump from high building but should i do that? If i did so,  somebody will find me and know that i m daughter of someone that loves me the most. People will bury my body and they will said what kind of dad that he letting her daughter kill herself or someone kill her? No, i dont want. If i must do suicide i will make sure nobody find me, then later i think, if nobody wont find me it means my dad will search me to any place and keep hoping that he may meet me and one time he may die because of sadness. I dont want it too.

I cant tell people about my feeling. I m an introvert and if you are same to me, don't think that you are crazy. I visited psychologist many times to ask why i m like this, people are hardly understand me but ya its normal and you don't have to think about it.

Having friend to share and someone who can talk to you is the key. You don't have to tell them what happen to you if you want but just keep in touch. Don't stay alone, go outside if you need fresh air or just staring people from street side it will do.

Last thing, if you do suicide action after this, don't stop to read, there is something that you wont feel if you kill your self

Whenever you can handle your problem, by time goes it will heal your pain. Even if he memory is still there and the pain is also still inside your heart but at least you feel better. Its ok if you crying whole time but sure you will be tired one day and stop crying. And when the time passed, you can forget it and have a better brand new life trust me the feeling is like

Wow, i have been through the hell and im still alive. Its time for me to wear the crown and walk like a king. Isnt it amazing? Even if you are sick or you may end up someday, isnt it a precious memory that you dont give up for your illness and people will know u as a brave one.

Best people is them who are thinking to kill themselves but they still alive nowadays. Depression is normal , and every people must face it. Later, when you have solved the problem after you stumble and fall, you can rise and stand up again. Meet people and start creating something. Life maybe not always make you happy but trust me you can create your own happiness and its your choice.

Its on your hand whatever you want to do. If after reading this you still want to do suicide, you can do it and nobody will help you. Its only you who can help yourself but it means you need a someone inside you who are strong and brave enough to hold you.

If you have friends whom you think having such suicidal thinking, hold and always check them. Ask them if they r ok at least they will feel someone care for them.

Life is not always easy

We dont always stand

Sometimes life hurt us

The path that we stepped in fill with thorns

Just let someone else to hold your hand and feel the pain

Maybe you will see a hope

Or you may live once again

Kill yourself do it

Kill your self who hurt in the past

And born as new you

Whatever it is, just let life flow and

#FightDepression, go through  and win it like a king.


Visit me on my migme page and join me there to fight depression and gather with friends.. cos migme is the place where i can talk and have fun with friends even erase my sadness and just laugh to forget every problem there

check this link and join me there
 http://mig.me/anggi.rosalia





 

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Simple Choco Lava Cake

I  got some free time from work ( Thanks God, i can breath for a while ) haha being stucked with projects i cant spend my time as usual on kitchen but yet yesterday i made lava cake since my little bro always asked for snack and cake most of the time.

Lava cake is happening nowadays, it comes up on tv advertisement, series, or any food channel. I think its not too hard to make it. Its more like brownie with melted chocolate inside. So here the recipe

Ingredients ;

4 eggs

75 grams white sugar

70 gr wheat flour

150 gr dark chocolate ( cut it into small cubes )

80 gr margarine or butter

½ teaspoon baking powder

Cherry, kiwi and or ice cream as side dish and decoration

 

How to make :

Prepare the oven and heat it until it reach 200 degrees celcius

 Melted the chocolate and margarine  by heat it on pan with Au bain Marie technique

Just put the chocolate in a bowl and heat it in pan with some hot water  ( make sure the vapour dont get into the chocolate, best temperature for melting the chocolate is 40-50 degrees C )

Mix the eggs and sugar for 5 minutes until the batter getting thick

Pour the flour and baking soda ( It is better to filter it first before it going to pour)

Stir it and add the melted chocolate and margarine. Mix it well

Pour the batter into cupcake pan then bake it for around 10 minutes in 200 Degrees celcius

(dont bake it too long since it will perfectly cook and the chocolate will not be melted inside)

Take of the cake from the cup and served it with ice cream or other decoration and your lava cake is ready to served

Its easy right? And of course it totally low cost and you can make around 12 cakes with this batter. Same cakes in restaurant that you can enjoy at home

Have a nice try

by : anggi.rosalia

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The Treelogy Of Life

The Tree-logy of Life

Once upon a time there lived a beautiful tree in a very large green field on a farm. Its the biggest tree that grow the most beautiful flower and mos delicious fruit. On spring the tree bloom some beautiful flowers that attract people to come visit the tree and play around. One day, a girl and her mom came to the land where the tree live. Mesmerized by the beauty of the flower, the girl asked her mom to pick her some of the flowers.

All parts of the tree can talk to each other but human can not hear them. They start conversation when they saw humans came there. A flower said “ they must come here to see my beauty, im the most prettiest flower here” then another flower also said the same words that praised their own beauty. “We are the most important part of this tree, without us people wont come here to see our beauty also they can not eat the fruit that we produce”. Then the leave also raise their voices “you cannot grow your beauty without us, we are the factory of food and its us who provide human with delicious fruit”

The trunk of the tree listen to them and he also said “Don't forget that you all live with my big body and support, Its me who make us can grow high". For some minutes they keep debating to each other. Until the mother of the girl pick up some flowers from the lowest branch of the tree and give it to her kid. The girl was very happy and she said “Mom i wanna be pretty like this flower” then mom said “really?” then they both left that place.

Listening to what the girl have said, the flowers feel proud and they keep praising themselves. Later, night came and the sky turn into dark and thunder start to burn the sky. There was storm coming on that night. A very strong wind blew up all the leave and flowers. Now after the storm end, there just only the trunk left on the tree.

In the morning the sun rises and the sky smile brightly once again. A man came to the land and cut off the trunk of the tree. Nothing left there but something left there and they feel sad. They hide inside the ground. No one see them. They are the ones who keep working at day and night. They keep supporting the tree in the silent and even without any voice. When the tree grow high with the glory on where it stands on after the storm came. They are the roots, who keep silent and humble even when their hard work resulting for pretty flowers and green leaves. They keep hiding in ground and remain silent and do not search for praise nor feel jelous for others, because they know they can only work with the help of the sun and the mercy of the rain. Roots are the main part of tree that left after all parts of it has been broken. More over after all hard night and terrify storm they will keep working and start new life with a hope that they can grow the trunk, leaves, and flower once again.

We can learn most of lesson from nature and apply them in our life 

have a nice day all

by : anggi.rosalia

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Simple Japanese Okonomiyaki

Noodle Okonomiyaki

Okonomiyaki or japanese pancake is one of my favourite japanese dish. It can be a sweet savoury taste with the adding of mayonaise and the sauce. Original okonomiyaki made from seafood pieces ( squid, prawn, or etc) mixed with egg, cabbage, spring onion, dashi stock and flour. I made some experiment to make okonomiyaki without flour but i replace it with instant noodle and because im kinda allegic to seafood so ireplace it with chicken . Its so easy to make, u can try to make it as a snack during your free time. So check the recipe

Ingredients :

1 pack or 100gr of instant noodle ( I use Indomie Fried noodle)

100 gr cabbage, chopped it into small pieces

50 gr ground chicken

1 tablespoon dashi or u can use chicken stock powder

2 eggs

1 tablespoon soysauce

1 spring onion (or u can add more onion if u like)

Sauce :

1 tablespoon soysauce

1 teaspoon oyster sauce

1 teaspoon teriyaki sauce

How to make :

Boil the noodle and cook it, drain after the noodle cooked

Beat the eggs into a bowl and mixed it with noodle. cabbage, dashi, chicken, spring onion and you can also add some chilli powder or the seasoning in instant noodle but make sure you dont put it too much because it will make your okonomiyaki taste salty. Stir all of ingredients in bowl

Heat a pan and pur a table spoon of oil on it then pour the okonomiyaki dough on pan

Cook with medium heat and after some minutes flip the okonomiyaki back so it will cooked on both sides.

How to make sauce ;

Mix soy sauce, oyster sauce and teriyaki sauce in pan and cook it for a minute just. 

Once your okonomiyaki done, put on plate and topped it with mayonaise and sauce, (u can buy it on store or made it by yourself) 

If you have katsuobushi or bonito flakes (dried tuna flakes) you can also spread it on your okonomiyaki.

Its easy ryt? Go try it and enjoy 

dont forget to visit my page on migme 

http://mig.me/u/anggi.rosalia

by : anggi.rosalia

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Why We should respect women

The Inconvenient truth behind Beyonce Song “If I were a boy and Run The World” Why we should respect women?

International womens day tend to be a moment where most people rise their voice for womens rights. As human being, people should respect to each other. But the question rise when we asked about why do women need respect and then the hashtag #RespectWomen come up to surface? Dont they get justice or they get bad treatment? What make them deserved the respect? And what actually respecting women means?

Over 4 billions years human lived on earth and as time passed the era also has changed. Lets look back to the history of mankind and how women lived at that time. Man has been lived as dominant sex since long ago, the dawn of mankind. In some ancient history, men sometime treated women unfairly. In ancient Arab societies, they used to bury their daughter alive just not long after they were born. Having daughter at that time is a shame for them. For nearly as long as civilization has existed, patriarchy enforced the rights of first born son. Ancient Greece men used to tied off their left testicle in an effort to produce male heirs; women have killed themselves (or been killed) for failing to bear son. On some last decades in South Korea, wives will be badly treated as maid if they cannot give male heirs and this still happen in some society in this world until now.

The era has been changed since education and technology enlighten human mind. Women are now can get and do what men do even sometimes they do it a whole a lot better . Even they can go to space and dive deep in the sea. They can go beyond boundaries and even facing many obstacles. Just as Ronald Ericcson said , (a Biologist that found Sperminator, sperm sorting technique for gender selection method) “These Females will leave us males in the dust”. Ericcson was the man who leased the method that allow parents to select kids gender in clinic before pregnancy.

Learning about the sperm itself. Ericcson found a method to separated two kinds of sperms. The X- and the Y chromosome carrying sperm. He made an experiment by analyzing the movement of those sperms inside albumin fluid. The X or female carrying sperms has bigger head and tail they swim slow and has better endurance so they life longer while the Y or male carrying sperms are leaner and swim faster than the X. So whats the correlation between sperm and women respect?

Women who get unfair treatment often think that its disappointing to born as woman. If i were a boy, has been a famous statement that spread world wide by Beyonce song. This song may express their feeling and their need to be respected. The story of sperms struggle to reach their goal show us something that born as women its not an unlucky fate. To be born as women it means they have won the race against other male carrying sperm that swim or move faster than them. Its not a big deal that someone who can run faster win the race so for every woman that born in life they have proved their endurance before they were born are worth. Its not all about physical endurance but its something that you can see from truth that most suicide victims are men.

      If I were a boy

I think I could understand

How it feels to love a girl

I swear id be a better man

I’d Listen To her

Cause i know how it hurts

When you lose the one you wanted

Cause He taken you from granted

And everything you had got destoyed

(Beyonce, If I were a Boy )

Unfortunately, even in modern era where women live equally with men still some bad thing such as harrasement happen to them. A disrespected treatment or unfair condition can lead them to rise their voices even more some extreme campaign by feminist who spokes out that women will lead in future and the era of men will soon end. Do u ever imagine such world with less power men? Our species will soon take greater control of its evolution. Talking about Genetic engineering, Women could blend their DNA and cut men out in the near future. But no one want this happen right? Maybe that future is far away but just see the truth about how many women decide to live alone and rule her own world since they got no respect from people around them

Some of them men think they freak this like we do

But no they don't

Make your check come at they neck

Disrespect us no they won

My persuasion can build a nation

Endless power with our love we can devour

You’ll do anything for me

(Beyonce , Run The World)

Women and men are different just like the logic and the feeling. They both different but they have their own role and connection To respect someone sometimes doesn't need a reason. When people disrespect them, women may be won't hate the people but they will hate themselves and feel annoyed. The word respect for women is not about taking a bow for them or lift them in high position but to appreciate their value and protect their body and soul. Respect women is a simple thing to do. Appreciate the things that they do and try not to hurt them by verbally or physically will be a wise concern. Simply love mom who take care of you and do help her whatever happen, be nice to sister even sometimes we fights and other women around. Let your daughter play or even enter a karate class, don't worry when she wanna study far from you to get better education. Don't make a great differences between what son and daughter do will make them feel appreciated. Do not try to control their life just keep watching, guide and protect them. Respect women because its a way to make them feel save.

In the end,  life is just about take and give. Give respect and take respect. 

By : anggi.rosalia

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